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Feathered Arms

by Laura Jorgensen

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1.
2.
Pens 03:51
from across the hall, your skinny arms are waving and when i fall, i go down hard but struggling still, the muted sound of trumpet finds me in the dark when the wind blows round as it comes off the ocean or the sun beats down on shoulders of the broken will we realize the wonder of staring into space? hollowly we drown in cracking leaves of brown till shaking free again, we sit down with our pens and bleed ink bleed ink i picked a petal out my sleeve this morning in my hand it fell to pieces without warning if the spring has come then why do the flowers wither still? tomorrow we'll be found in cracking leaves of brown till breaking free from pens we find ourselves again and bleed ink bleed ink
3.
4.
you went out to the desert and you dug a little hole you found a spot where the sand was soft and moldable you took it in your hands and you made a little shape you put it in my chest with the intent of making it ache but you did not consider what the consequence would be for a heart of clay cannot have a key and my heart is made of clay my heart is made of clay you took me to the city and you thought that i would stay how didn't you know that my soul was gone, far away? this concrete forest fence can't keep the desert from my mind and one night while you're sleeping i'll blow out oh so quiet for you did not consider what the consequence would be a body of sand is always trying to leave and my body is clay and sand my body was made my heart is clay and can only brittle and break when i reach where i came from i will wait till the rain comes and melt into the land through the wind and thunder you will never cease to wander searching for me but the one you seek to find will remain in your mind for clay will i be
5.
6.
losing sense of time, i try to control my thoughts but still my mind is floating away i'm stepping out of line, i know i shouldn't say this but i think that it's a sign that all things bloom in may so hey, what do you say about a kiss? and are you quite sure that after this the spinning won't stop? and we won't fall off into space? waiting for a glimpse of what's coming my way afraid that i'll miss a chance to convey the things you make me feel- the giddiness, that lightheaded dismay or that a pinch will force me awake so hey, what do you say about a kiss? and are you quite sure that after this the star won't collide? the moon won't rise alone? oooh, the moment comes and goes so hey, i don't know what to say about that kiss except that i'm sure that after this the world will still turn the stars will keep burning and lovers will yearn for what we've found
7.
8.
pulling strings across the country unraveling a year or two if we could reach across the state lines well then we wouldn't have to i pack my box to cross the state lines i lift my eyes to the empty room i pack my bags to cross the country i lift my head to say adieu my ball of yarn is getting small now there's not much left to pull away what will i do, when it's all gone now? i guess i'll just have to stay
9.
10.
i saw you for the first time on the sidewalk, you were passing me by and though i know we're not allowed to stop and talk, i just had to try something in your face i had seen just once before a flash in my father's eyes when they held him to the floor and he said: darling, don't forget me even with this courage, oh the words just wouldn't come all we're taught to say is: hide, quiet, and run something in your face i felt in my own it itched at my lips and tickled my tongue and you said: darling, come with me so in your fifth floor tenement, we'll lie down and speak with our skin cause not all of our thoughts can be said through our teeth so if the sounds don't come it won't matter to us we'll still know what we mean months passed by and our meetings grew more common all the time and you taught me the things you'd learned in secret about syllables and rhyme something in your face whenever i learned a new word made me almost forget what it's like not to be heard so i said: darling, hold on to me cause even though i've learned to speak there will always be some inexpressible things so in your fifth floor tenement, we'll lie down and speak with our skin cause not all of our thoughts can be said through our teeth so if the sounds don't come it won't matter to us we'll still know what we mean one day, they came while i was telling you the sunrise and they said the way we lived we would die but i'm not worried, no they can't hurt me not with you here beside me so in your fifth floor tenement, we'll lie down and speak with our skin cause not all of our thoughts can be said through our teeth
11.
12.
my hand is in your lap for miles the signs offside the road catch us off guard and our eyes flicker closed we dam up our ears so we can't hear their voices, draining after days of digging in the sand in our goosedown sleeping bag i'll keep you warm sleeping all surrounded by doomed breathing things while you dream of engines dying by your hands you think you're strong enough to kill but even though i'm proud, better things have failed better things have failed and i wonder if we spent endless years out in the woods, even then would we find peace? knowing any day the tower might come crumbling closer and the earth will shudder beneath our feet in our goosedown sleeping bag we'll be no more grandfather tortoise is buried beneath while he dreams of all the children he's had and it is quite strong enough to kill so even though we're proud, we must not fail we must not fail the juniper, joshua, cottonwood, silvergray sagebrush, prince's plume we stand for what we stand on the only revenge is getting even
13.
14.
Your Fingers 03:19
i feel your fingers against mine upon my ribs, upon my tongue passing over the countryside of my arms listening for the whisper of my veins beneath your hands i am calm within your lungs i find my air curled inside of your body, how could cold ever find me? you are the sun to my leaves beneath your eyes i am safe within your heart lies my beat sleeping tucked inside your arms, only good dreams will take me
15.
16.
quicksand clay and i'm being drawn down sucked into the swirl of a thousand years muck all full of the bodies of birds and our hopes are drowning all here, drowning all here your eyelids close it seems as though your heart slows don't notice how the mountains turn to dust the mud i like is the forest kind sinking feet into the earth barefoot always in a home like this no pavement to scratch our feet grass beneath, grass beneath when you're in the meadow, you don't have to call my name i will hear you even with my ears closed but out here in the city those buildings all just steal your words so even though you're screaming to me it sounds a whisper your eyelids close it seems as though your heart slows don't worry dear, we'll be far from here when the city falls
17.
18.
South 04:44
let's fly south, dear, for the winter life will be warmer there here you can't speak above a whisper but we must not despair things are complicated, i know but let's just lift our heads and go leave behind this worn out wind for breezier, balmy air i won't wait till all my days are gone cause i've known what i wanted all along birds will fly and we'll just follow them leave behind this broken world of men you say we don't have wings, well you're wrong for i have seen your feathered arms no, you can't fool me though you're tricky don't think that i won't believe that we can kiss the tops of the trees they're getting taller every day, stretching to the sky now the floods are coming in and the water's getting higher and higher higher and higher open the skylight cause it's time and though we've never touched, your hand tickles mine and i'm so tired of trying in these last moments where minutes exist, we're running out of time from now on we'll no longer reminisce we'll just live and die to the mountains! to the high ground! we were chosen to survive!
19.

credits

released July 15, 2010

Written, sung, accordioned, dulcimered, and pianoed by Laura Jorgensen
Produced and drummed by Andrew G. Nault
Violined by Amy Alvey
Bassed by Orion Boucher
Trumpeted by Nolan Eley
Guitared by Kenyon Kowal
Engineered by Alex Prieto
Mastered by Aaron Bastinelli
Photographed by Linni Kral

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Laura Jorgensen Austin, Texas

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